This song is my best attempt at a truly happy tune, it carries energy from the word go and doesn’t really let it drop throughout. A nod to the eternal sunshine of new love! Built round a simple but driving chord pattern broken up by some choral melody and something like a solo. This is one of my earliest ukulele songs, written in Ripley, Derbyshire somewhere around 18 years of age circa 2009.

Lyrics

Today the sun is out,
And I’ve got nothing to be down about,
Because my angel in human form told me she was mine;
She took my hand and now I’m feeling fine.

‘Cos I know, she won’t, ever leave me on my own.
She told me so, she told me so. She told me so, she told me so.

Love is blind and dumb and deaf,
and right now I couldn’t care less,
So take my heart and throw it up in the air,
my head is floating in space somewhere.
 
‘Cos I know, she won’t, ever leave me on my own.
She told me so, she told me so. She told me so, she told me so.

Today the sun is out,
And I’ve got nothing to be down about,
Because my angel in human form told me she was mine,
She took my hand and now I’m feeling, I’m feeling, I’m feeling feeling feeling feeling fine. 

My quintessential ‘backhanded lovesong’ as it has been lovingly referred to. This song has stood the test of time with nothing but positive feedback from listeners since my I penned it in 2012. An almost ska-like chord pattern brings the rhythm to the ukulele while I adamantly assure you of my indifference to a love left behind.

Lyrics

Well she stares up at me and she smiles so sweetly,
Those perfect eyes saying I love you completely,
But I’m so tired,
I’m sick of it all, I’m sick of it all, I’m sick of it all.

I don’t know if I’ll see you again and I don’t care.

I’ll turn out the lights on another dark day, 
I’m hoping inside this will all go away,
And I apologise,
For breaking you heart, breaking your heart, breaking your heart!

I don’t know if I’ll see you again and I don’t care.

And it’s all lies I know but I won’t tell you so,
Leave you heartbroken, confused and alone,
And I’m a liar,
I don’t want to go, don’t want to go, don’t want to goooooo.

Cos’ I don’t know if I’ll see you again but I’ll say I don’t care.
Oh I don’t know if I’ll see you again but I’ll say I don’t care.
When I do….I DO.

The first guitar heard on naked is full, strummy and sprinkled with a simple melody. An almost incoherent rant at having been summoned to offer help when perhaps, upon further introspection, it is I who needs the help. The first response to this song from sensei Darren Lee, to whom I premiered it, being: “if you play that to people, they’re either going to think that you’re a genius, or you’re mad!”

Lyrics

I could probably make it out there in about a day, but I never want to see your face again.
I’ll over think every single word you say, then I’ll drink drink drink them all away.
Testament to, it will all be fine it’s true, you live your life one day at a time.
I want to be a bit more, a bit like you, but I’m stuck inside these broken wings.

Please let me in, I came, I’m standing at the door, you should just be glad I came here at all.
Psychoanalysed, neurosis rots my bones, it’s true I spend a lot of time thinking on my own.
If I could focus on here and now and not if and when, I’d probably be a bit more relaxed about what is happening.
I want to focus on something different, something new, but I’m stuck inside these broken wings.

Oh I spent some time surrounded, by my friends and family,
Those that least appreciate, my presence here.
Seems I’ve got bad blood running through my veins.
Meanwhile neurosis rots my bones.

Inspired by the book of the same title we drop into the most heavily featured guitar tuning of the album. I refer to it as Double Drop D Sus 1, but I have no idea if that is a real thing or not…
Deep, almost-spoken lyrics reflect on relationships, misdemeanours and the blunt but searching suggestion of individualism above all else. I found the guitar line for this while on crutches following an operation in 2016 in Hampshire. The lyrics came to it a year or so later. That was after having played the guitar part live in full and being told I should stick to singing rather than “that twiddly stuff” on the guitar…

Lyrics

Finding myself sitting in this cafe more and more,
Drinking gin after gin like I’m in 1984,
What a coincidence who’d have thought it, 
I’d never think I might see you here,
How longs it been since I last saw you? 
Only that long? God it feels like years!

You said “I betrayed you”,
and I said,
“I betrayed you too.”

You say you think you saw someone who looked just like me,
I have to contain my laughter,
You have no idea who I am anymore.
And aeons of dark pass around me as I recall you happy on my arm.
Though you lack the brains to see I’m hurting,
I know you mean no harm.

You said “I betrayed you”,
and I said,
“I betrayed you too.”

We only look out for ourselves in the end.
We always look out for ourselves in the end.

I admit to all my failures, as a lover, as a friend.
We only look out for ourselves in the end.

I guess this is a ballad of sorts. A brutal analysis of my own character, the demons that torture us and a desire to be better. Written in early 2016 in Lee-on-the-Solent, Hampshire. A personal milestone for my songwriting in playing style and embracing real honesty in lyrical storytelling.

Rosie always said I was never man enough for her,
I have always said I was never man enough to care,
The weight of my lifetime hangs round your neck,
Kissing your cheek I taste the salt from your tears.
Just when we think we faced up all my demons,
Here we are again and we’re screaming,
She puts her head in her hands said why can’t you love me?!
And I don’t reply. 
They say what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger,
I say what doesn’t kill you just makes your life longer,
I couldn’t have spent years clutching at ideas why I should continue to live,
If I didn’t truly believe that I have something more worthwhile to give.
Naively I thought I deserved recognition for just being me,
Now you’ll find me at the bottom of the vodka bottle please,
I took the cowards way out of everything I could do,
Oh to be a man who’s a man, a man with a spine that you can’t pass your hand through.
I’m selfish and unkind, monotypic of mankind, that’s true,
‘Cos men will never change, they always stay the same or they’re lying,
And I will never be the one who fulfils you,
But I want you to know, as little as it may show, I’m trying.

This is why I’m still alive.

After the thoughtful introspective verses of Ode to Manliness I wanted to cut through the mood with this track. A jilted lover calls for justice! Backed up by some funky guitar lines playing around the beat and held together by the first big vocal choruses of the album. It took a long old time to land on a final version of this song, probably a good two years in the making and taken all over Europe in the process. The final realisation came in late 2018. I had fun writing this one and it always gets a confused reception when I play it to a new audience. I think it needs drums.

Grab your dress from the chair, stuff your shoes in the bag,
Creep down the stairs, out and back to your man.
Footage erased, clean conscience regained,
Your nights with the girls, they always end up the same.
And life isn’t hard, with your look’s set to kill,
Dad’s credit card, always picks up the bill.
But how long will you last, how long can you keep?
When life goes so fast, but your beauty’s only skin deep.

It’ll be a long way down.

You must think me a fool, for having you back every night,
Everybody knows what you do, when you’re out of my sight.
I guess it must be easy she must be such a pro, screwing one two three while I wait back at home,
But the makeup doesn’t cut it, can’t cover a meaningless life, that you’re washed up propped up, gutted, nobody cares if you live or you die.
So grab your dress from the chair, stuff your shoes in the bag,
This life isn’t fair, and it ain’t gone to plan.

It’ll be a long way down

Now falling drunk and useless,
Crying over all over lies,
You had your chance you blew it,
It’s over, take a look in my eyes,
I don’t want to know anymore!
I don’t want to know.

I will tell the story of how this came to be Gert’s song in the video. It didn’t start out that way though. It started as a pretty piece of a picking pattern that I discovered on the Uke while sitting in the van next to a river in mid-France during the summer of 2015. Charlie was doing stints of road cycling where I would take the van and met her at an agreed location, she rode up the entire length of Portigal in this manner. Tis gave me lots of time to play with new material without making her ears bleed sharing such a tiny space as home. I love the way this song shaped itself up and got interesting with this shift in time signature towards the end. When recording I was informed it fits a French dance tune timing. Riddle me that!

Of everything I’ve tried to learn,
I still don’t think I’ve ever heard,
Anything, that,
Makes sense of the world.

Your morning smile,
The only reason I,
Went to sleep at night,
And it seems like an age,
Since you went away,
Now it’s been so long,
I just don’t feel the same.

So deep in isolation, don’t think I can bear.
I keep hearing your voice but no one is there.

And truth be told I’m terrified of a future overwhelmed,
With what if and might and suicide and that is fact I am inclined.
This loneliness it weighs me down, an emptiness inside.
Inability to process reality, that you, have died

Sanctimonious Me is definitely me sharing my own process of musical catharsis with the world. Spurred on by the positive feedback I kept getting from playing Ode to Manliness I indulged myself to share some of my self-analysis once more, this song build starting in 2018. Drawing on my own and others lives I tried to weave a compelling story that needs hearing by the listener. I also very literally overstretched my fingers in their guitar playing ability. That’s a huge amount of notes to play in one hit.

Lyrics

Brittle teeth crumble as I chew,
Old muscles strain-struggle-stretch tear anew,
Every fibre tense-anxious-stressed,
All my dreams died in the fire,
I dreamed of pockets filled with gold,
I dreamed of dying before I get old,
I think it may already be too late,
For me to dig an early grave.

Bless me father for I have sinned,
And I plan to do it again and again,
If the wages that sin pays are death,
Then I’d have died like a hundred times already,
‘Cos we all die but we don’t all really live,
Is it true in life you only get what you give?
My angels never answered me,
My friends they never asked for me.
Sanctimonious me.
Sanctimonious me.

After the challenge of hitting so many notes in Sanctimonious Me, Pt 1, Sanctimonious Me, Pt.2 is almost like the dessert of this bipartite song. I found another way to work around the beat with the guitar and a space to really open my lungs up in this gutteral lament about the British weather and my own pretentiousness. I really nailed playing both parts of this song together for the first time in the chilly, empty grounds of Halsway Manor, Somerset in February of 2019.

Lyrics

This rain is just typical England,
This rain is just typical England,
My brain is just typical England,
This rain is just typical England.

Sanctimonious me,
Sanctimonious me.

This rain is just typical England,
This rain is just typical England,
My brain is just typical England,
Migraine is just typical England.

Sanctimonious me,
Sanctimonious me,
Sanctimonious me,
Sanctimonious me.

This song is about the wasted years, misspent youth, lethargy and lack of purpose. I guess it represents some part of my life but it feels like anything like this for me was several lifetimes ago already. I wrote this screeching banjo tune in Bruton, Somerset in 2012 after realising that I just do not understand how to get my fingers to do the classic bluegrass scruggs roll picking pattern. There is room for some vocal harmonies in here if anyone is interested…

Lyrics

We were never ones for conversations and now,
Now it’s all in our heads, now it’s all in our heads,
And we just sit here, killing time,
Until we reach an age acceptable to die.

Light years wasted, fast cars and cheap sensations are how.
How we wish to be dead, how we wish to be dead,
A heartbeat, a rain cloud, we’re so grim we’re so proud,
We’ll do what, you say, we’ll go out and play with a smile.

For old times’ sake.

“And so it may be said of man in general that, befooled by hope, he dances into the arms of death.” Schopenhauer.
I read Schopenhauer along with other classics on the tiny dark screen of my iPhone while living in a small motorhome and travelling near and far through Europe over the course of four and a half years. I am actually a much bigger fan of Nietzsche as I think Schopenhauer had some abominable ideas about the treatment of women…
However, this quote is wonderful and tacked onto what is possibly my most politically charged offering on this album has a place that I thoroughly enjoy arriving at when playing. The guitar is tuned to DADGAD, the lowest tuning of the album and completing a systematic down-shift in ambience throughout the tracks. It is challenging and fun, up-tempo and bouncy but with rich bass notes to keep us grounded. The perfect setup for the low ebb to follow and see us out with Sober.

Lyrics

They push us down,
They give us jobs,
They make the rules,
They gave us something meaningless.

We’re broken on our knees,
We’re cogs in the machine.

I used to think,
I used to smile,
I tried to fight,
I found myself alone in pieces.

Somewhat inconsequential,
Maybe slightly mental.

But fooled by hope we go, dancing into the arms of death,
Fooled by hope we go, dancing into the arms of death,
One by one we go, dancing into the arms of death,
Fuelled by hope we go, dancing into the arms of death.

Into the arms of death.

A nod to the years of alcohol addiction. This song was written late at night, squeezed into the cab of a dark van, somewhere between the U.K. and South-west Portugal in 2016-17. I can’t remember the specifics because it took me so long to make it right, this song pushed my playing ability far beyond anything I had previously written and as such it was years until I felt able to play it in a way that did it justice. That coupled with some emotionally invested lyrics and a desire to share that feeling of late night loneliness that I remember so well connected to a bottle of vodka, whiskey or whatever other alcoholic concoction I could get my hands on to numb the pain. I knew this would be the ender for my album, long before being able to write a tracklist.

Lyrics

Seems I have nothing nice to say,
Perhaps it’s best I say nothing at all,
Well I have nothing to show,
I have nothing to tell,
I don’t know, I don’t want to know.

Just one more drink and I’ll be sober,
Just one more drink and I’ll be fine.

Alone in my room it’s probably best,
I need these for me but I’ll drink one to your health,
Alone in my room it’s what I do best,
I’ve got a six pack of freedom all for myself.

Just one more drink and I’ll be sober,
Just one more drink and I’ll be fine.

Startled awake, all covered in piss,
Why for god’s sake, do I do this?
Just one more drink and I’ll be sober,
Just one more drink and I’ll be fine.

We know what we want to say, but we don’t know the words.